UNC Pooper

11 Public Bathroom Options, Ranked From Least To Most Rank

2011-04-13T12:08:00.000-07:00

Check it Check it! Bathroom Rankings for Toilets Away from your Throne at Home...

http://www.11points.com/Travel/11_Public_Bathroom_Options,_Ranked_From_Least_To_Most_Rank

Gardner, 3rd Floor

2010-09-03T11:19:00.001-07:00

Howdy followers,

I apologize for the long drought of posts. UNCPooper has been doing a lot of work on our new site. Check it out: https://sites.google.com/site/uncpooper/

Anyway, if you haven't come across the ghost town that is Gardner Hall, check it out if you are in the search of privacy. First off, never have I witnessed so many coat hooks in one restroom. When winter time comes and you are clothed to the neck in sweaters and jackets, these hooks will serve your need while taking care of business.

Gardner Hall doesn't really show love to the males on the campus. The first floor bathroom had a lock put on it and it became a faculty men's room. Your tuition expenses likely paid for the lock and therefore, your exclusion, but I get off topic. For this reason, Gardner Hall is not the go to for the casual bathroom user. The random choice to travel to the third floor of Gardner comes with the promise of privacy, silence, and serenity. The bathroom setup is pretty classic with the marble-like stall walls, thick wooden doors, and the oddly shaped urinals that look like inclined toilet bowls without seats.

So if you ever find yourself traveling from the center of campus to Franklin or vice-versa and you need to take care of business, trek to Gardner to insure a interruption-free pit stop.

Internet connectivity: 5
Cleanliness: 4
Location: 4
Design: 3
Supplies: 4
HVAC: 3
Traffic: 5

Chapman Hall 1st Floor

2010-08-04T09:47:00.000-07:00

I hesitate to mention this secretion sanctuary due to its sparse traffic, despite its key location for many a chem class, but here goes: 1st Floor, Chapman Hall. I often hear the rhetorical question: does a bear shit in the woods? Well it wouldn’t, say I, had it this magnificent cavern depository. Located in a nook by the stairwell, most who come through large lectures in Chapman are unaware of its existence, deferring instead to the 2nd floor’s vastly inferior 3-staller. With no windows, a constant ambient temperature of 25 Celcius and incredible soundproof insulation from the classes next door, not only will you have a fabulous time taking a growler, but you may just be inclined to curl up on the spotless floor and hibernate post-poop. Truly one of UNC’s unheralded treasures.

Internet connectivity: 3

Cleanliness: 5

Location: 4

Space: 5

HVAC: 4

Traffic: 4

Hibernation potential: 5

-KH

Phillips Hall, 2nd Floor, East Side

2010-05-25T08:51:00.000-07:00

Greetings fellow poopers! UNCPooper is here with a summertime restroom review. Today's will be focusing on the east side of the second floor of Phillips Hall, home of the Department of Physics and Astronomy.

Quick info on Phillips Hall: It was built in 1920 as the School of Applied Science, or in other words, to concentrate the hatred of all things math-related into one building. However, Phillips wasn't the building UNC-Chapel Hill wanted to build. During the construction, the construction company realized that they were actually constructing a building ordered by another university and building their desired blue prints at UNC-CH. In other words, the shittiness of Phillips' layout isn't UNC-CH's fault (thanks to UNC Virtual Tour for the info).

Now, on to the bathroom. Just like the rest of Phillips, this restroom isn't exactly the best when compared to the newer parts of the University. The first thing patrons will notice is the weird entry way to the restroom. There is actually two doors you must pass through in order to do your business, contrasting against the traditional one. I suppose this little room randomly selects people and forces them to do physics problems in order to take a dump, but then again, I could be bullshitting.

From inside: The Vestibule of Worthiness

Once you Indiana Jones those shenanigans, what you discover a pair of extremely mediocre toilet stalls and two of the most suggestive urinals I've seen on campus.

Built for men who love wide-set vags and golden showers

Also, in the spirit of science I suppose, you can find some kind of hybrid trashcan / proton accelerator daftly hidden under the right sink designed to run the aforementioned death trap in the damn broom closet you just walked through.

Or it's a 1.21 jiggawatt flux capaciting nuclear blowjob dispenser

Overall, this is a very, very average pooping experience. In the mornings before class, the foot traffic is fairly heavy. It's even worse considering if you're going for #1: you gotta deal with the guy next to you in addition to people using the sinks behind you, all able (and possibly willing) to look at your junk. However, there is fair UNC-1 connectivity from the stalls, perfect for checking ESPN with your device of choice.

OVERALL SCORE: C+ (2.8)

Cleanliness: 3
Location: 2
Traffic: 3
Design: 1
Supplies: 4
HVAC: 4
WiFi: 3

Greenlaw, 3rd Floor

2010-04-28T10:19:00.000-07:00

If you are planning on taking your business to Greenlaw, avoid the first floor restroom. There is only one stall and this can possibly create a pressure situation if a line develops outside the stall. Plus, the door to this restroom is always propped open so if your stomach is on the downside, you may be advertising your activities to the multitude of people outside waiting for the next class to start.

Climb the stairs to the third floor. The bathroom is pretty old school. The all white bathroom has develop a yellow hue overtime - you might call it disgusting, I consider it a distinguished look. The handicap stall is even straight out of the 70s - no extra room like today's handi-stalls, just some really archaic, cool-looking set of handrails. The bathroom probably made its first appearance in the mental hospital of the 1975 film, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. If you aren't sold yet, there are some coat hooks as soon as you walk in - mad cozy.

Internet - 4
Cleanliness - 3
Location - 4
Space - 4
Supplies - 5 (Extra paper towels and toilet paper chillin on a shelf for anyone looking to save some money on their at-home toiletries)
HVAC - 5
Traffic - 5

Disease on Public Toilet Seats?!

2010-02-11T07:22:00.000-08:00

We at UNCPooper have done some extensive research about possibly contracting disease from public toilet seats. For those of you "non-nesters", you might want to check out these articles to see if you are putting yourself at risk.

The Truth About Toilet Seats
http://www.livescience.com/health/060603_popsci_toilet_seats.html

What Diseases Can You Catch From Toilet Seats?
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/1598/what-diseases-can-you-catch-from-toilet-seats

Dey Hall, 1st Floor

2009-12-12T14:44:00.000-08:00

You might want to go ahead and consider this restroom your clutch business spot. This bathroom is always clean, well supplied, and its spaciousness is complemented by a window that lets just enough sunlight in to make your personal time a bit brighter. It does not carry much flair so I wouldn't recommend cheating on your usual spot for this bathroom's personality. However if you are in a bind, this restroom offers a central location and a lot of privacy. If you enter from Dey Hall's main entrance, you will have to go down one flight of stairs. This bathroom also helps you avoid the line that develops outside the one toilet unit located on the main (2nd) floor. This restroom offers two stalls, multiple urinals, and several hand washing stations (so no awkward waiting in line to wash your hands). Keep this one in the holster and you will never go wrong.

Internet: 4
Cleanliness: 5
Location: 5
Space: 4
Supplies: 5
HVAC: 4
Traffic: 5

Davis Library, 2nd Floor

2009-12-12T14:29:00.000-08:00

If you have studied in Davis Library, then you already know about its lack of quality facilities. However, sometimes Exams or that midnight paper leaves you with few other places to be productive. The bathroom on the second floor is the silver lining to this 8 story storm cloud. The bathroom is quite spacious and boasts three stalls. The usual traffic is still below that of other hot spots on campus. The second floor is by far a superior option to that of the facilities on the first floor where the restroom is cramped, busy, and often unclean. Feel free to venture to the higher levels of Davis for more privacy, but realize that you are risking taking your business to bathrooms that are occasionally unclean and supplies are limited.

Internet: 5
Cleanliness: 4
Location: 4
Space: 5
Supplies: 4
HVAC: 5
Traffic: 4

Shirts!

2009-11-19T22:48:00.000-08:00

The design is below. Like what you see? Hit the facebook site to find out how to acquire one.

Make custom t-shirts at CustomInk.com

Kenan Music Building, First Floor

2009-11-11T15:43:00.001-08:00

This is perhaps one of the finest restrooms located on campus. The dark, cherry door, the speckled golden marble vanity tops, and the stone wall tiles presents a majestic feel. Unfortunately, it is located a bit out of the way in the new Kenan Music Building. However, keep it in mind for any trips to the northwest corner of campus. On some occasions, a light serenade from a practicing orchestra can be overheard. The tranquility found here would have made this the prime location for greats like Mozart or Bach to compose while taking care of business. As far as public restroom's go, this could probably best be described as Beethoven's 9th.

Internet: 4
Cleanliness: 5
Location: 2
Space: 5
Supplies: 4
HVAC: 5
Traffic: 4

1 is bad for pooping, 5 is great for pooping!

Old Swain, First Floor

2009-11-05T17:43:00.000-08:00

It's time to build a relationship with this is a one-person bathroom. Once you lock it, then its all yours! It's recently renovated with all the bells and whistles, e.g. shiny sink, tall mirror, automatic flush, large trash can with paper towel dispenser. There is even an outlet that your laptop charger can reach from the toilet! The room seems to be cleaned regularly. If I dropped a dry piece of food on the floor I would probably pick it back up and eat it. Unfortunately, people know about this one... you may need to wait outside for a couple minutes until another student finishes. CAUTION: Loud noises, including those from diarrhea and hot sex, can be heard in the
performance studio next door. Honestly though, probably the best place to masturbate if you don't need internet to do so.

Internet: 0
Cleanliness: 5
Location: 3
Space: 5
Supplies: 5
HVAC: 3 (a little hot)
Traffic: 3

-FW
1 is bad for pooping, 5 is great for pooping!

Union, Basement level, near South Road

2009-10-29T09:33:00.000-07:00

A little known gem! Despite it's proximity to high traffic areas like the U bus stop, this bathroom gets little foot traffic. It has 3 stalls, followed by the urinals. Handicap stall is very spacious with enough room for backpack and jacket to rest cleanly off the floor. Always enough toilet paper, including extras in the mini closet next to the sinks. I have engaged in many a PFN (Pooping Friends Network, pronounced piffin) in this restroom and have rarely ever encountered a rival pooper. For a whole semester it was my daily post-Lenoir locale, and this shitter was always up to the task!

Internet connectivity: 3
Cleanliness: 5
Location: 5
Space: 4
Supplies: 5
HVAC: 5
Traffic: 4
Resiliency: 5

-LB
1 is bad for pooping, 5 is great for pooping!

Hanes Center, 3rd Floor

2009-10-29T09:30:00.000-07:00

An oasis of sorts for the late-night photo developer or print maker. The main hallway is long, stark, and provides access to a number of abandoned lecture rooms and neglected professor's offices. Resolving to relieve yourself, the surgical and infinite hallway (which may conjure images from The Shining) quickly becomes a makeshift exhibit for the dilapidated flyers and various art student propaganda reminiscent of a better time. The bathroom is small, but clean smelling. A stained, fifties-era metal and brown upholstery chair sits awkwardly under the paper towel dispenser, damp from the dripping hands that hover expectedly over it. There are two sinks, the porcelain and stainless steel scrubbed raw with Pine-Sol, hot and cold water from both. There is one stall and one urinal (the stall adjacent to the western wall). Both are clean, and the stall is sufficiently stocked. One of my favorite aspects is the toilet paper dispenser: it is located above shit level, meaning there is absolutely no premature paper scrunching that typically occurs with the lower dispensers. I have never seen another soul use this restroom. Note: if you are a female your chances of an encounter are much greater given the popularity of the art major with the female sex (especially in the areas of photography and print-making).

Internet Connectivity: 2
Cleanliness: 4
Location: 5
Space: 3
Supplies: 4
HVAC: 5
Traffic: 5
Soap Latherability: 5

-TH
1 is bad for pooping, 5 is great for pooping!

Student Stores, Pit-level

2009-10-20T07:22:00.000-07:00

These bathrooms are located between the Student Stores and the Student Stores annex (right near all the candy). This bathroom is well lit and very spacious. If you need to use a bathroom to change clothes, this should definitely be your choice. Centrally located, the Student Stores bathroom provides a great opportunity to poop between class or coming from Alpine. However, users have to lock the door (there are no stalls). This means that a line of angry poopers may form outside the door and you will have to encounter them when you leave. Additionally, the lock to this door can be a little finicky, so be wary of this before you start your poop. All said, this bathroom is great in terms of location and space and should definitely be among the top choices for you to poop in.

Internet connectivity: ??
Cleanliness: 3
Location: 5
Space: 5
Supplies: 4
HVAC: 5
Traffic: 2

-DB
1 is bad for pooping, 5 is great for pooping!

Stone Center Lobby

2009-10-16T16:31:00.001-07:00

This bathroom is very nice, very clean, and very new. Four stalls without those annoying automatic flushers. The sinks are high quality, with a marble countertop and real knobs for hot and cold water, also not motion sensor activated. Kind of out of the way, but a comfortable spot for pooping.

Internet connectivity: 5
Cleanliness: 5
Location: 2
Space: 5
Supplies: 4
HVAC: 5
Traffic: 4
Lack of automation: 5

-AR
1 is bad for pooping, 5 is great for pooping!

FedEx Global, 3rd Floor

2009-10-16T16:30:00.001-07:00

If you are ever on the west side of campus, this might be the go-to spot. The facilities are new considering the Global Center was built in 2007. There is nothing flashy about the architecture in the restrooms, but its simplicity and its cleanliness is quite welcoming. There is also a single entryway that takes you to the two restroom doors. It creates the feeling of seclusion. There are three stalls. A fourth stall houses the urinal. Perhaps the most alluring aspect is the fact that there is usually little to no traffic. Don't be afraid of the amber water, no one forgot to flush. The water at the Global Center is treated water that is recycled from a nearby receptacle. Stop by and drop a 2 and go Green in the process!

Internet connectivity: 5
Cleanliness: 5
Location: 2
Space: 4
Supplies: 3
HVAC: 4
Traffic: 5

-CE
1 is bad for pooping, 5 is great for pooping!

South Building basement

2009-10-12T08:48:00.000-07:00

This is not where the Chancellor poops. Utility pipes for the building are poking out of the walls and ceiling. The room is lit by shop lights that have no cover, just fluorescent bulbs in a frame. Everything is painted white or a variation of white. The floor tile looks like somebody ate a banana and then threw up tetris blocks. Each of the three stalls has a seat-protector dispenser, so no toilet paper nesting is needed! Unfortunately when you put a protector down, you realize that the hole in the paper is smaller than the hole in the toilet seat. So when I pooped the turd hit the back of the protector and dragged the whole thing into the toilet. I had to stand up and let it go in, which was an inconvenience. The most distinctive feature of this restroom may be the door: the center of it is a large frosted glass panel like you might see in a 1970's newsroom, or the door of a private eye's office. Odd place, good if you're looking for something a little different.

Internet Connectivity: 2
Cleanliness: 3
Location: 2
Space: 3
Supplies: 4
HVAC: 5
Traffic: 3

1 is bad for pooping, 5 is great for pooping!

Union annex, Pit-level floor

2009-10-09T11:08:00.001-07:00

Sort of a strip mall vibe, or like something you would find in an airport. Stalls are made of marble-print plastic, walls and floor have tile with dirty grout. Sinks are shiny black in an effort to be classy. Three stalls, of course I took the handicapped one... perfectly fine, nothing too good or bad about it, except that the toilet seat is canted horizontally about 15 degrees, and this is effecting my concentration. Two brand new rolls of double-ply toilet paper lift the spirits!

UPDATE: Shouldn't have posted before washing my hands. The sinks are SO mint! These are brushed metal circles with a large diameter. Best of all, they are very deep... the sides go straight down rather than sloping, and the bottom is flat. All four sinks together look like a four-cylinder engine block. Standing over just one, its like peering into a large kitchen pot. You feel like a master saucier while rinsing off: Bon appetit!

Internet Connectivity: 4
Cleanliness: 3
Location: 5
Space: 4
Supplies: 4
HVAC: 5
Traffic: 3

1 is bad for pooping, 5 is great for pooping!

Union, Back of 3rd Floor

2009-10-08T12:49:00.000-07:00

The light was off when I walked in. Large mirrors above the sinks lean down towards you distorting your image. Something dripping makes this slightly creepy... as does the framed poster on the wall saying "Condom Sense." There are three marble stalls with heavy-duty hinges, hooks, and locks. It is the afternoon and all three toilets are still clean from last night's janitor! The stall walls begin about a foot off the ground, so your feet are very visible, as is your head when you stand up. This would be bad for clandestine pooping, except that no one really comes in here. Recommended on a rainy day.

Internet connectivity: 2
Cleanliness: 5
Location: 5
Space: 4
Supplies: 4
HVAC: 4
Traffic: 5

1 is bad for pooping, 5 is great for pooping!

Front Entrance Fetzer

2009-10-08T10:33:00.001-07:00

At least the furthest stall has a lock, don't know about the others. I'd say this is an old facility, but well loved. Decent for pooping during class time, but why are you in Fetzer if not for a class? Having said that, it's still useful for emergencies, but if you go when classes are changing, it will be highly trafficked. This may lead to smells less pleasant than your own. Also, there is a 2 door air-lock system to this restroom, but one is always propped open. Therefore, the cute girls congregating for beginning jogging outside in the foyer can hear your flatulence and even see your shoes under the stall as other dudes carelessly open the door during your poop. Handicapped s(h)itting rails are good for hanging your newspaper, or for grip during tough episodes. The black-painted wood doors are crappy and don't compliment the nicely appointed marble stall sides. Not much entertainment provided by grafitti, maybe it's tough to write on marble.

Internet Connectivity: 1*
Cleanliness: 3
Location: 4
Space: 4
Supplies: 4
HVAC: 5 (moderated by foyer and outside air)
Traffic: 5

* Untested, but judging by the poor service in rm 106, and the thick cinderblock walls.
-LE
1 is bad for pooping, 5 is great for pooping!

3rd Floor Hanes

2009-10-07T07:19:00.000-07:00

Recently renovated, with pleasant white paint and beige tile. There is only one stall and it is handicapped... very spacious and good for private pooping, but if someone else wants to poop this could get awkward. On the hall of the STOR offices. Lots of open office doors and statisticians walking around, so it was fairly obvious to them what I was doing on their floor. Stall door has two hooks, convenient for backpack and jacket. Window in the stall has large sill. Consumer tp rather than the big industrial rolls; nice touch!

Internet Connectivity: 5 (unc-1)
Cleanliness: 5
Location: 3
Space: 5
Supplies: 5
HVAC: 3 (a little hot)
Traffic: 4

1 is bad for pooping, 5 is great for pooping!